and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
