Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We are two peas in an std pod
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
