just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
