The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
