How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
