Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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