That's when you crack a 10am beer
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
