did you get engaged???
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
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searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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