I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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