I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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