So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My liver just had a heart attack.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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