I faked an abortion last night.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
