How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You are the jesus of drinking
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
