she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
