thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
