No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
