too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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