i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
