I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
