Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
