he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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