Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
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He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
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Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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