Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
