A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
