so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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