We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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