i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I looked at my own cervix.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
