ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
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Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
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I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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