You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
