your thong is hanging out like whoa
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize