Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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