The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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