My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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