well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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