small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Randomize