You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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