No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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