I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
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Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
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Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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