you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
