you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
