I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
