next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
