Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize