You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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