Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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