just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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