Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize