Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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