i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
