Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
