Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
