I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
