well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
