I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
