She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
