Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
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