i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
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I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
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I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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