yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
