Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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