ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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