I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
