take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
