I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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