I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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