she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She bit a glass in half.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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