it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
