Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
